macbookpro. dead.

_posted in dayedayerocks | 20 February 2008

The tune dead but him nuh dead.

Well the tune dead and him dead. My fucking MacBook Pro, my life line has become a heavy ass brick!

The MacBook dead. Fuck you Apple. Fuck you in the ass of life. Just like you're fucking me.

cry cry gary.

_posted in dayedayerocks | 17 February 2008

When I was younger my grandmother and I use to go to Philly and New York every year to see family. Compared to my cousins I was a sheltered child. Fucking Brooklyn makes you hard coming out the womb, yo. My female cousins are "fast assed little girls," as my Da always said.

Before I made it to the den of iniquity we spent a few weeks in Philly with great grand Auntie Sylvie (big Sylvie). She is the reason I love opera, classical music and musicals. She'd pick us up from the airport or bus depot and the second we stepped across the threshold she knew I was ready to watch Bizet's Carmen, with a chaser of Fiddler on the Roof. My grandmother and her sisters all made fun of Auntie Sylvie aka Ms. Prim and Proper and her "crazy" music. I loved it, still do.

I thought of all this tonight after talking to my cousin Gary. We don't get to talk that much but when we do it's always good and fucking hilarious. He's only a couple of years older than me and just as much of a clown. When talking about Gary it always comes up that he's the baby of 7 kids and how he was a crybaby! My great Auntie Sylvie (little Sylvie) and everyone else called him "Cry Cry Gary." So when ever I talk to him I never let him forget it. Gary is the cousin who'd most like me, which makes me love him even more.

Cry Cry Gary, his mom, Da and me were planning on going to Panama together. That was the plan. But he was told he was going to be forward deployed from Kuwait to Iraq sometime between December - January, which didn't happen. We were hoping that we could plan for this summer, but he told me it wouldn't happen so we shouldn't wait. Seems its a definite that he'll be shipping out (AGAIN!) in May. I'll hopefully get to see him on my way back from Panama for a few days before he leaves. So between May - January of next year he'll be serving in Iraq once again. He did it twice for daddy Bush and this will be his second time for bratty Bush. Then in March he can retire.

I don't even what to entertain the thoughts in my head right now. I just know I'm looking forward to my second trip to Panama when he gets back- me, Da, and my Auntie Sylvie with Cry Cry Gary.

happy valentine's day!

_posted in dayedayerocks | 14 February 2008

"Waiting for his turn."    photo credit: Daye Rogers

Four years ago today my boy Bran, my friend Bowen and I went to the comic book spot to buy our monthly stash. Brandon has crushed on Bowen for some time and I was constantly "trying to out that kid" as Jordan use to say. And on that day, Brandon came to terms with his sexuality... so happy gay day my friend... happy gay day...

Death #2

_posted in dayedayerocks | 08 February 2008

A friend lost her brother yesterday. I haven't talked to this friend since November 2005. It's another one of those leaving "open ended pain in my wake" things. Rightly or wrongly I walked away from our friendship shortly before I left Atlanta. At the time I felt I needed to be around people I felt were proactive in order to feed out that energy instead of the weekly humdrums and what-ifs. I walked away from three people: Drew, Jake and May. I've since then reconciled with Drew and Jake. Like I said, "those I truly loved first and still find room to be angry with, have never and will never lose my favor." And May is one of those people. Unfortunately, I could never swallow my pride and reach out more than that passive aggressive social network way. Sending an "add request" on MySpace is not an active attempt to reconcile. It's passive and no one deserves such a half ass attempt at reconciliation.

At this moment May is dealing with a lost that I can't even imagine. She's always been an extremely sweet person. Why the universe deemed it necessary for her to lose her 33 year old brother is beyond me.

I can't say at this moment that I want to call family and friends and tell them how much they mean to me. I try to show that everyday, but more days than not I only accomplish fucking up relationships.

I was recently told, in a round about way, that I've not been a good friend when it came to the emotional aspect of a friendship. It sucks to be told you're not a good friend, but it's not like I haven't done that many times, when I felt slighted, which happens to be often.

All I can hope is that while May is dealing with her loss, she comes out the other end alright.

Too Many People

_posted in dayedayerocks | 05 February 2008

My hand it shakes, my belly aches, I shouldn't be here
But what can I do
Cos I spent last night in our room
A second chance, a near escape, I learnt my lesson
But not so easily
And I left my weapon at the scene

What you gonna do about it now
Cos too many people love you and you're never around
What you gonna do it now
Cos they're always lookin for you and you're never in town

My head it pounds, so many sounds, as reason wakens
To present it's case
Cos my conscience always speaks too late
I wait until I get my chance to change the subject
But not to obviously
Cos my weakness knows no subtlety

What you gonna do about it now
Cos too many people love you and you're never around
What you gonna do it now
Cos they're always lookin for you and you're never in town

My hand it shakes, my belly aches, I shouldn't be here
But what can I do

What you gonna do about it now
Cos too many people love you and you're never around
What you gonna do it now
Who are you onna run to when this all gets you down
ollie cole: too many people

Barack '08 :: Yes we can.

_posted in politics | 04 February 2008

Dipdive

Update: Antero sent this link from The American Scene: Peter Sunderman's Can We?

January's Lessons Learned

_posted in dayedayerocks | lessons learned | 03 February 2008

I figured I'd post what lessons I learned each month. I think this will be a great reminder of what my year looked like.

Number 01.

It's interesting who's willing to just listen and who's not. Trust issues exist for a reason. That was a hard lesson to learn, yet I learned it.

Number 02.

Running hard and fast is a good idea until you're a few feet from the end. It seems I never have the energy to finish but somehow I do. Being a champ when you set unrealistic goals only makes you want to set more unrealistic goals and be a champ time and time again. Great lesson learned.

Number 03.

Saying, "No," is a lesson I learned many moons ago, but rarely practice. It's been sometime since I actually said, "No," but I can feel it stuck in my throat, itching to come out. Hopefully it will make its debut in the following weeks.

Number 04.

Waiting for something long desired is only part of the process. If it turns out well then you walk away proud that you were able to be patient and feel deserving. If it turns out sour, you walk away proud that you even tried.

Number 05.

Sometimes the computer needs to be turned off.

_vidcheck: james cameron: the terminator