_posted in dayedayerocks | 02 December 2007

i was in the middle of posting the new monday morning blues playlist when i realized i didn't love it. i mean the music is perfection but my ordering was off, some of the songs chosen were done so haphazardly while others were chosen with such care.

and i realized that the last few years has been a haphazard mix of consistency and inconsistency, more of the latter than the former. in the midst of it all there's always me, planning and scheming, distracting myself from actually doing. i do more planning than doing, it's as simple as that. the end of each year brings along the regrets and the blah blah blah. but the most important thing has always been the naming of the year: "the year of the foundation," "the summer of her celluloid self." and there have been others to be sure, i just can't recall them. sp is also guilty of this. i can't recall any of his declarations of year and season, but there have been a few. that kid is like my emotional doppelganger, except that doppelganger's are evil, harbingers of bad luck and seek to destroy. ok, doppelganger may be the wrong word. ah! as hubert sauper would say, he's an "intellectual mirror". much better.

anyway, i've decided there is no naming of 2008. it'll be what it is, another year. just one more year i try to get better. better at being consistent. better at loving the people i love. better at not being so quick and willing to dislike the people i don't care for. better at not being so hard on myself. and better at just enjoying it all. before i know it i'll be 98 with a room filled with family (i said family, not cats... dear god don't let it be cats- do me know if its just going to be me at the end with a bunch of fucking cats) trying to say everything i never said. no, im not getting all emotional and no, there will be no emails proclaiming emotions sent out tonight.

this is just me pumping myself up for my A-game, because 2008 knows exactly what im looking for this year. i only want to get be better by the time my bit of business is taken care of.

all that to say, no new monday morning blues... and of course there will be a declaration of "the year of...." in the next few weeks... i'd be cute and quirky if not for being strange and insane.